Letters from J.P. – Dear media


Image courtesy of Skeezix1000.

Dear media (cough, THE STAR, cough),

Sorry, I just had to clear my throat there after finding my way through all this smoke and mirrors bullshit. Let’s get right to the point here.

Why…in God’s name…did you turn Rob Ford into the Justin Bieber of Toronto? Why?

Please enlighten me as to what purpose this serves the general public of Toronto or any other city in the world. I never once believed a politician was stupid enough to smoke crack, and I was a Rob Ford supporter throughout all the allegations due to the fact the Toronto Star made all these claims without presenting us with a single piece of factual evidence.

 I was proven wrong. The Toronto Star was right. Guess what? I still have no respect for the Toronto Star.

Let’s step back for a moment here. How long has the Toronto Star been attacking Rob Ford? I can’t remember the last Toronto star newspaper that was published without a page fully dedicated to attacking Rob Ford. According to the National Post (cough REAL NEWSPAPER cough), the last time was July 5, 2012.

My question is why? Why dedicate this much of your efforts to attacking someone who can ruin his own reputation without any help? Don’t you think all the effort you’ve put into following Rob Ford like little Justin Bieber fan girls could have been put into something more productive for your own community?

I watched the Rob Ford video involving the word “pussy”. His remarks didn’t bother me nearly as much as those annoying ass reporters at the end of the video screaming over each other like a group of pigeons waiting for a french fry to fall on the ground. “What about..what about drinking and driving, mayor, what about drinking and driving, drinking and driving?!?!?” Woman…do me a favour and take a pair of scissors and clip those vocal cords for me. You useless, unproductive living organism. Is this what your college diploma and university degree gets you? To act like a swarm of paparazzi at the back exit of a hotel, waiting for Justin Bieber to come out so you can all yell at the same time and hope he responds to one of you? Damn, I’m glad I never paid for college. I can act like an obnoxious idiot with a camera for free.

It’s sad to think that many of these people are actually well educated.

memeDo yourself a favour. Take that camera, flip that little button to picture mode, and go photograph celebrities and make some actual money. Let’s face it, you hardly have any respect for yourself as it is, why not slice off a little more to make some extra cash? That is what you do it for right, the money? Clearly there’s no potential for any form of justice or moral obligation or storytelling at this point. Just like a stripper making money to pay for college, you’ve already thrown away most of your self-respect, why not slice off a little more and suck that old guy’s dick in the back room for an extra $200?

Gawker? What the fuck is a Gawker? When I hear that word the first thing that comes to mind is someone sticking their finger down their throat, vomiting on a canvas, and calling it art. Do not ever tell me gawking is journalism. Do not ever try to sell me your vomit à la canvas as art. I find that very offensive and I’m not even a wannabe blogger, or an artist. Journalize this: I would like to start a movement to have the Toronto Star officially renamed The Toronto Entertainment Teen Girl Gossip Magazine. You don’t deserve to be called a newspaper, and your reporters (media scrum personnel at the very least, Jesus) do not deserve to be called journalists. If Gawker is journalism, TMZ is the holy grail of all earthly media companies and journalists alike.

I was glad to watch the 76 per cent fall in first quarter profits for Torstar Corporation, with more significant falls contributing to their pathetic third quarter earnings in 2013. With a stock price falling steadily since April of 2012, I personally hope your stocks never recover. You can blame it on the struggling print media industry all you want, but we know the truth. Serious advertisers (companies who like to be taken seriously) don’t want to be linked to a teen girl gossip magazine. They would much rather take their business elsewhere.

 So in conclusion, I’d like to thank you, Toronto Star, for ruining your own reputation without any help. Just like poor little Robbie Ford, you are the sole architect of your own downfall.

Tonight I drink to the sound of your plummeting stock price. Such sweet music.